Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
