Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
