My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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