I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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