she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
