This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
