My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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