I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
