When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize