shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
