found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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