let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
a search helicopter?!
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
