At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
