Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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