you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
