you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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