Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
