i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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