I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
