OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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