I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
