Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
