quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
