My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
