he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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