Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
