found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
