i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
