who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
