Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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