Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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