I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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