i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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