Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
