I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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