So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woke up backwards on a recliner
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
