I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
