they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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