her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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