so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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