k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
This is the high leading the old right now
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
