Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sorry about my life...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
