i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize
