Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He did a backflip because drugs
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
