I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
