he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
