He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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