just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize