I wish I only lived at night.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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