i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize