you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
