Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
