Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
