hell yes lets make some ravioli
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
