He asked me if I "almost moaned"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
