my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
