They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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