im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You dont lie about slip and slides
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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