Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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